Today I have a very special guest with us. Zulu from Fire Baptized written by author Kenya Wright!
Thank you Kenya and Zulu for stopping by the blog today and for donating an ecopy of Fire Baptized and Incubus Hunter
Top Three Ways To Kill a Were-cheetah
Hello! I’m Zulu from the novel Fire Baptized. The love of my life is Lanore Vesta. She is perfect in every way, except for one thing . . . her ex-boyfriend MeShack. He’s a Were-cheetah and is always around us! When I’m alone, sitting at my desk, I dream of interesting ways to kill him. Don’t tell Lanore, but here are my top three ways to kill a Were-cheetah.
1- The Distraction Method
I would nail a long sturdy cord to the ceiling, open the window, and let the cord wave back and forth with the wind. The Were-cheetah will walk into the room, see the dangling cord, and instantly be distracted. While the Were-cheetah is batting and playing with the cord like a moron, push him out the window!
Hopefully you’re on the sixth floor. Most Shapeshifters can survive a fall, but not at an impossible height. The best part about this method is that your girlfriend would think it was all an accident.
2- The Ostrich Sandwich Surprise
Like most Shapeshifters from the Were-cat family, MeShack loves raw ostrich meat. I would make him an ostrich meat sub stacked with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and poison. MeShack’s nose is by far the best in our supernatural caged city so I would have to get a talented Earth Witch to do an odorless poison.
I couldn’t give him the sandwich because he would be suspicious. I would just leave it at his door, knock, and race away. The only problem with this method is that Lanore would want to investigate who put the poison in the sandwich and I would be her number one suspect.
3- Don’t Do Drugs
I’m against drug usage due to the problems I’ve had with drugs in my teen years. However, MeShack smokes a lot of marijuana. I would get a bouquet of Baby’s Breath flowers. These flowers are toxic to Shapeshifters and have been known to cause instant death.
I would dry the flowers, pound them into a powder, sprinkle the stuff into one of his joints, and wait for him to smoke it. I’m sure Lanore would be suspicious. MeShack grows his own marijuana so there would be no reason to assume that he’d die from his own stuff.
Regardless, this is just how I like to past the time, dreaming of MeShack’s demise. We all have dreams. Mine are just a bit homicidal.
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